Let’s just be completely candid. Most women don’t feel sexy or desirable during those first few months of postpartum… Wait! Some women never feel sexy again. The postpartum body is simply not the same as it was before. Most women’s bodies show lasting scars from that selfless sacrifice of pregnancy — whether from a few extra pounds, not so perky breasts, or tiger-stripe-like stretch marks. Not mention that the female hormones are desperately trying to stabilize after that wild nine month rollercoaster. So what can really be done to rekindle the flame of passion and have the desire to slip between the sheets and “practice” making babies (Let’s stick with practice because the postpartum body… and mind… are far from ready for another round of pregnancy).
11 Tips to Recover Your Sex Drive postpartum
1. Talk dirty
Foreplay isn’t just for the 5 minutes before “Go-time!” It can last all day. Whether it is through subtle flirty conversation, or via text, thinking about intimacy can help prepare you for it.
2. Make sex a date
With a new baby in the house, it is hard to be spontaneous. That sweet little bundle can interrupt at any moment, convenient or during the middle of… So, plan some alone time. And a babysitter that can watch that bundle of joy somewhere away from home. Then don’t go “out” on a date, stay “in”… “In bed” in fact.
3. Get some sleep
How’s that sleep schedule working out for you? Nevermind, I already know. And if you want that desire back, you may want to consider taking regular naps, or finding a way to build in better sleep.
4. Eat healthy
So much focus gets put on how you eat while pregnant, but it isn’t over yet. Your body needs to be replenished, and it needs to heal and rejuvenate. If your breastfeeding you will still be passing on valuable nutrients. Make sure you are getting enough healthy fats like grass-fed butter, and coconut oil. Make sure your diet is rich in variety, filled with vegetables and quality meats. And for the love of making love please ditch the sugar!
Few things invigorate the body like a good workout. Exercise will not only help you regain that pre-preggo body, but will also help balance and promote healthy happy horny hormones.
6. Talk about your fears
postpartum can present itself with some crazy and sometimes completely irrational emotions. Make sure you have good open communication with your spouse. The better you communicate, the closer you will become, emotionally and physically.
7. Get out the lingerie
There is no shame in doing whatever makes you feel comfortable. If lingerie makes you feel sexier, then by all means go buy something scandalous. Pick a piece that accentuates your best parts, and hides the parts you are still worried about.
8. Take herbs and supplements
No amount of PMS can prepare most women for postpartum. To flatten that rollercoaster invest in maca, ginseng, and nutmeg to improve sex drive. Take a quality multivitamin and magnesium to support hormone health.
9. Loose the weight
This may be the one tip you don’t want to hear. But honestly, do you like hearing, “Oh, you just had a baby! You have an excuse.” Seriously? Who says that? I’m not saying it isn’t an excuse, but nobody “wants” an excuse to be fat, or soft, or not how they want to be. Every woman wants to look and feel good in their body. So, if your weight is halting your sex drive, then do something. Focus on your metabolism and pay attention to what you eat. Set goals, and get back in shape. Don’t get discouraged, it is possible.
10. Have positive self talk
Nothing halts a person’s dreams and desires like their own minds. And seriously you just had a baby! You are super woman right now! There is absolutely no reason to let your head get in your way. You are sexy. You are amazing. You are still the beautiful woman you have always been.
11. Tell your spouse you need to hear that you are beautiful and desirable
Self talk not enough? Recruit your spouse to help. If you can’t see the amazing woman you are then he should be able to get you past that. He did just watch you complete the super hero task of pregnancy.
One last thing…
Be patient with yourself. There are a lot of factors working against you — lack of sleep, being overwhelmed, being busy, adjusting to your baby, hormones, etc… It is ok if it takes a while. While you wait, embrace being a new mom, and enjoy your family.
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